Thursday, July 10, 2008

Family Men

Being a husband and father is by far the most rewarding experience afforded to man while on this earth, in my opinion. The Church, recognizing the beauty and importance of marriage a liturgical rite--a sacrament; that is, in effect, a method for imparting grace on the individual.

Similarly the act of child bearing and rearing is a lofty miracle. For theists, like myself, we see ourselves privilege to work alongside God in the act of creation.

I do not necessarily consider myself qualified for either role: husband or father. It is my opinion that nobody in and of themselves actually possesses or attains to worthy credentials. God and community supplement where the individual is lacking.

This joyous responsibility is also veraciously daunting and often strips one of self confidence, particularly in the role of protector. Protecting my family is one of the most fulfilling tasks. As I was perusing through the pictures on our digital camera today I came across the picture below. I was engulfed in emotion as I recalled what took place in the photo. Our youngest daughter, Gabs, held an unlit Morning Glory Sparkler in her hand. As soon as the sparks started shooting out, she realized the harmful potential grasped in her ruddy little fingers, burst into tears, and threw the sparkler on the grass. Only when she was tucked in my arms would did she stop crying and try to participate.

But every up has its down. The possibility for failure and the latent repercussions are extremely daunting and scary. I am always second guessing myself, asking, "am I doing an adequate job at protecting my family?"

As many readers may or may not know, in just five days I will be jobless. With no future employment solidified, and this being the only source of income for my family, it is easy to feel as if I am negligent in the role of protector. It is in moments like these that it is so necessary to stumble across the picture above!

Now, I know we will get through this difficult time. I just hope that in months to come I will look back and realize that it was easier than it felt at the time, and that my family felt as little discomfort as possible.


Big Head, Little Body said...

You do an amazing job as the protector for this family. The kids will never know the scary, hard time we're going through, because you do such a great job of continuing your role as father and husband no matter how uncertain you are about the future.
We absolutely will look back on this one day and see God's grace and faithfulness throughout all of this!

Joni Ruhs said...

Found you through Tam's blog. My husband and I have gone through some scary financial stuff and will find ourselves in it again when the student loans come due next summer. He shared with me how he struggles as the family's sole provider and how he feels he is not doing a good enough job. I am praying for you right now that you will get to see a glimpse of God's plan so you can have a little answer in the midst of your trust. I look forward to hearing the rest of this story.

nate said...

@BHLB...Thank you Baby!!! That means so much to me...I am so blessed to have you in my life everyday! I love you!

@joni...Thank you for the kind words and for the prayer support. We will remember to pray for you and your family as well!

Anonymous said...

Amazing post, Nate. Having gone through my own recent layoff, know that you are in my thoughts.

We see through a glass darkly, my friend. Never forget that . . .

redison said...

You...are an amazing person. And God has and will continue to bless you for it. So inspiring!

2Pete said...

I was moved by your words about fatherhood. My wife and I haven't taken that step yet, but a huge fear of inadequacy lies dormant until the time comes. Good reminder that no one measures up by his or her own efforts.

I was unaware of your job challenges. I'm sorry to hear it, though confident a conspiracy of goodness is at work in your life. I'll be praying for you. My wife left her job several months ago, which accounted for about 40% of our household income. We would have never known that we could survive on so much less (and how much consumption we were lazily, habitually participating in).

Not saying that's your lesson to learn, but something wonderful (and difficult) came out of such unforeseen trouble.

God is faithful. You're in my prayers.

nate said...

Thanks for the kind words, thoughts, and prayers Brian, raymond, and pete! It has touched and strengthened me!